hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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