Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i think my cat just said my name.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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