We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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