I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
