I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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