Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.