Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
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Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
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I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.