Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
