I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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