i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
