So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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