We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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