Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize