I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
