I like to think it a success when the cops are called
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
