just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
