"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
