They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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