Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
