come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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