these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is my gift to your gina
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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