whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
