can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
