You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
