first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
