Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Randomize
