You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
