Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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