My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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