$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
