Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
