Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
