i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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