do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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