I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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