there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
