can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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