dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
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Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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