worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
