so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
