the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
