every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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