I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
In America we eat man semen.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
