so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
