I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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