With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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