you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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