I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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