I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize