Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She told me I should be a condom model.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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