I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
