sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
