I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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