I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
