.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
