idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
