finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
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