the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You dont lie about slip and slides
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
