You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
