hotel room ftw
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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