so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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