why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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