Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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