yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize