someone get that fucking seahorse.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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