Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
