I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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