what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
