I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize