he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize