You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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