Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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