We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
