your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
